How Do We Care For our Families, work, and selves? Report from DnD 19 How Do We Care For:- Our Families?- Making Theatre?- Ourselves?Called by Alex Chisholm. Combined with M/Others Who Make called by Matilda LeyserThose present include Alex, Matilda, Joanne, Lucy, Rachel, Riddley, Laura, Jamie, Annie, Lucy, Jen, SimoneWe are Mothers, and Others, and Carers, and Cared For, and Makers, and Directors, and Drama therapists, and Actors, and Gamers, and many other roles besides.We care deeply about our families (including children), and making our work, and we try to remember to take care of ourselves but it is hard. We are all different with different issues and questions, and circumstances and concerns but we have come here to ask how can we manage to keep holding all the things we hold and care for ourselves, and our art, and the people in our care??We said it wasn’t a zero sum game. That it is possible for all those cares to become integrated, to be generative, not competitive. But the way that theatre (in particular) is structured makes it feel competitive, makes it feel impossible. How can I be in rehearsal, and in tech, and touring, and with my kids, and take care of myself??How would theatre need to change structurally to allow us the space and means to fulfil these caring roles?We spoke about resources that can support including:-M/Others Who Make- PIPA (Parents in Performing Arts)- The Parenting Village- The Fruity Fly CollectiveWe said it was very difficult to even know what to ask for in support and it was too complicated with too many consequences and repercussions.But it was worth still asking.MOTHERS ARE THE KEYSTONES OF THE WORLD BRIDGE said Riddley and we thought he was very wise. Parenting is not a battle – it makes us better at understanding both sides. We asked from ourselves, from our families, from society, and from the universe:- The my kids would go to bed before midnight- My 4 year old would just listen for once- My children’s dad to financially support them- School to understand we don’t all have 9-5 jobs and to offer flexible after school care- To try doing things differently- My husband to take on sharing the mental load- Everyone in the world to listen to themselves and follow their two feet- Make the invisible workload visible- Ask myself to let go- Ask school to f-off and then to f-off some more.